Relationships

I've got sad news. It's been confirmed that one of my favorite couples have broken up. I'm not one to say that I know them so well, haven't even seen them in person-- together at least. However, for some reason, they are the sort of 'stranger-friends' who are quite special to me. I've known them these past couple of years and theirs was a relationship that i admired. From my standpoint at least, since i don't know everything that goes on between them. Little did i know that they've been having problems big enought to actually lead to such severance of ties.

For some reason, this has affirmed my fears about the fact that sometimes, you really don't know whom to entrust your heart to. How will you know? At this stage, it gets more difficult, because once you entrust your heart, it's pretty much like entrusting your whole life already. It's a scary reality. While others are quite lucky to easily find their true partners, it can be a scary, tiring and risky process for some of us.

Fortunately, inspite of having my fears fullfilled a number of times which led me to continue to be 'afraid', I don't think I've been really left jaded by it all. I'm as cautious as ever, but I do still believe in giving myself, and others, a chance. I can just really leave the rest in God's hands.

This morning, it's amazing what I encountered as I was reading one of my sources of spiritual nourishment (Embraced by Bo Sanchez). Because it affirmed my natural tendency to still be open to new relationships (okay, i'm pertaining to romantic relationships, because I really don't have much problems with friendly ones).

Anyway, this particular topic struck me. It's entitled: THE SIN OF SELF PROTECTION with a verse from Genesis 2:18 which states "it is not good for man to be alone" .

Let me just share the part for meditation. It says:

'Some hide, distance and move away from most relationships. They do so because they want to protect themselves from more pain. But when they barricade themselves, they will never experience total trust and total deseration for the love of God. They need ti to leard how to rely on the Divine love to heal their future wounds.

'By throwing themselves into relationships, by being honest and vulnerable, by giving their real selves to another -- they are also trusting that God will love them perfectly in the midst of a sea of imperfect human love, to satisfy them in a way no one else can.'

Although it may take time, I hope my friend will also not be too jaded by what has happened.

Daddy's Speech

I loved my dad's speech during my sister's wedding last November 2005. First, he pointed out how the day rekindled past emotions on when he was walking down the same aisle to get married with my mom walking alongside him as his, then, bride to be.

You see, my sister was married on the 30 years and 5 days after my parents got married, in the same church at that!

I was too busy and a quite flustered attending to my duties as maid of honor -- assisting my sister with her gown during & after the ceremony, taking note of all my sister's instructions for the reception, etc.--- that I hadn't realized the additional significance of that date and place to my parents.

What's beautiful was what he said about how he remembered that 3o years before, walking down that same aisle, he felt that freedom and restriction at the same time because of of his decision to finally get married to my mother. I don't recall his exact words, but it was something like feeling the freedom of making such a big and valuable decision in his life choosing to spend the rest of his life with one person (which eventually led to having 7 more people in his life :D) at the same time, of course, being well aware of the restricions that come with the conviction of really standing by his decision.

...Which leads me to his other beautiful point that came out more as a piece of advice to the newlyweds and anyone else planning on doing the proverbial marital jump.

He shared his theory or 'suspicion' as to why a lot of marriages do not last. The idea he had lie precisely on the principle of making such a big decisions and standing by it. He surmised, that maybe somehow, those couples did not take marriage and their vows seriously. They did not quite realize before they entered into marriage that it is indeed something where you're not supposed to have the option to just up an leave when things get difficult or when you suddenly change your mind.

He definitely knows what he's talking about. Because I'm sure my parents' relationshiop is not all rosy and blissful. They have their share of differences and problems. But they've endured. They chose to be together and love each other, no matter what. I know in spite of everything, they're still being together, is not so just for the sake of the bond of their marriage. But because they still choose to be together and love each other because it is their promise to each other.

I so agree that marriage is something not to be entered into lightly. That it is a decision one should know and consider as something one can never back out of once it's made. Just on that idea, I do hope to find a man like my dad. Someone who values marriage the same way my dad does.

On that note, I'd like to end this entry with something i keep getting from forwarded emails that I do believe in. It goes....

Falling in love is not by choice but by chance;

Staying in love is not by chance but through work;

Falling out of love is not by chance, but by choice.

lll

2006 New Year's Resolution

2006 has finally arrived. And so, it is yet again time to come up with my New Year's resolutions in hopes of coming out a better individual by the end of the year. I honestly do not remember what my resolutions were for 2005. I seem to have lost track of them sometime within the year, but I have a strong feeling they're not so different from my current resolutions.

I do remember that one of my goals last year was to learn how to drive. Never got around to doing that though. I still only know how to drive up to second gear, doing only right turns, thanks to my dear friend who sometimes, probably in moments of insanity, takes the chance of teaching us how to drive using his dear car.

Though I hope I can somehow squeeze it in as one of my must do's this year, it's not really much of a priority. To begin with, we don't have a car! so I really won't have anything to drive. No use learning if I an't got anything to practice with or eventually use yet. Well, maybe I just need to know if I am capable of learning it. haha!

Much as my mom assured me that there's no need to worry about hitting anything or anyone while driving because you'll find that the car would pretty much be like an extension of your body, I am actually quite apprehensive about how I would be as a driver. Along with having a faulty foot (see 'Mitzi-isms' below) I just keep bumping into walls, doors and fences and stuff, while walking! WHILE WALKING!!! What more if my body's connected to a ton of metal? (does a car weigh a ton, by the way?).

Well, ANYWAY, that was a long enough intro for and far enough segue from this entry's topic. I think I just need to record my resolutions for 2006. So I'll have something to get back to once in a while to check if i'm keeping them.

As a chatmate of mine pointed out to me, my resolutions basically revolve around wealth, health, and spirituality. Hopefully, it's for the improvement of my life experience in general (but then again, isn't that what it's supposed to be?). Haba nanaman ng isa pang intro! Without further ado, my resolutions are:

…to make it a point to really save! Save! Save! (maybe i'll set a target on how much savings i

should have by the end of the year)
…to make it a point to do my daily crunches…good luck talaga!
…to make it a point to really set time for my prayer time… miss ko na Siya kausap actually…
…to make it a point to learn how to cook…at least have a specialty by the end of the year…

…to make it a point to learn how to sew, as in actual clothes from scratch...

It goes without saying that I'll try to be a better person (in so many was) and really apply the things I've learned from people I meet and experiences I've had.

Cheers to 2006!

"Mitzi-isms"

i love the beach but haven't been there for sooo long....

i love to eat!!! :) maya't maya gusto ko sana kumakain ako... kahit kukutkutin...

always and forever will be a hopeless (but practical!) romantic......

pnapapagkamalan mataray...aminadong moody pero mabait naman...minsan o madalas, mahiyain lang...

i have TERRIBLE sense of direction! map please!!!

i hate waiting...would appreciate it if people come on time...i really hate waiting, especially if i don't have anything to do while waiting!!!!!

i have a faulty foot!...

i have the uncanny ability to love something or someone i particularly dislike!!!!...

a closet drama queen...if not in person, on paper.... cheers to the lights!

am basically not easily impressed but easy to please...tolerant about a lot of things happening to me and around me, but i try to rationalize these things as i do so...

nostalgic and sentimental... resminiscing about happy times...

simple lang, actually...

Got this from http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t

It says my color is Green, the color of growth and vigor.

Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

how nice :p

~Love and Time~

… Love began to cry.

Then, she heard a voice say, “Come, Love, I will take you with me.” It was an

elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.
When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way.

Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and

asked, “Who was it that helped me?”. “It was Time”, Knowledge answered.
“But why did Time help me when no one else would?” Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and, with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,

“Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

This is only a portion of the story about Love and Time, which along with all other emotions, were trying to escape the sinking island they were in. It's a good personification of the emotions to understand Love better... Is it really only Time that is capable of understanding how great Love is?...

Yes, in a sense that it is the only witness to the things that Love can do...because only through Time will we see each other's real character and flaws, and only in Time will we see the sacrifices and care that we do for each other... Love will only be given an chance to bloom and grow, to transform and mature into something real and true if it is given enough Time...

In the beginning of it all, however, i believe only a little Time is needed for one to know if Love would indeed grow ... sometimes all it takes is an instant...*U*

10 Questions

Pick a band/artist/album + Answer using only titles of their songs
I choose MYMP

+ Are you male or female: 'Would you be my Girlfriend?'

+ Describe yourself: Get me (You know that I will always be just fine I'm okay, I'm alright, I am superb And everything that I can think of)... 'coz am just okay right now... neither here nor there, but okay... getting there :p

+ How do some people feel about you: Tell me where it hurts ... wahahaha! i got stumped on this one... can't find a song...

+ How do you feel about yourself: True Colors ...somethimes there are just some things that leaves me disillusioned, but fortunately, as of now, i don't think i can really be jaded... would just have to continue being myself and keep believeing in what i believe in... keep showing my true colors...

+ Describe your ex: Paalam na (di lang laan sa isa't isa) ... need i say more?

+ Describe your views on your significant other or crush: Rush (And then that's when I met you Faith could have brought me to you I know you're my answered pray'r ‘cause I see in you Eyes that could see through me Warmth that takes away my plea Where my heart is felt as it changes speed I know when it's time we allow love to take its seat) ... whoever you are....(^._,*)

+ Describe what you want: Awit ng Saya tulay ng Maykapal inuugugnay ang ating pagmamahalan. gawa ng lakas na di guguho, sa minsang pagsubok na napagdadaanan ng buhay. hayaan mo akong umawit, ako lamang, ay nagpapasalamat) ... as i said, "i'm okay, am alright, i am supeb", but if there's anything else i'd so want is to be thankful for something like this... ung hindi na talaga guguho...God-willing :D

+ Describe how you live: Ginoo, Walay Sukod ... i have no idea what it literally means, but it's a song of praise, and that's how i want to live my life praising God always :)

+ Describe how you love: Whenever, Wherever, Whatever (Lead me on, boy, if you must...take my heart and my love, take of me all that you want. And if there's anything that you need, i'll give you my breath, that i breath. If ever you yearn for the love in me....wherever, whenever, whatever, baby) ... to the right one, by all means, whenever, wherever, whatever!!!!

+ Share a few words of wisdom: JAM (Set your spirits free) ... that's it, just set your spirit free!