Friday, March 23, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
HARDER FOR WHOM?
Strange. Here I've been (and some others too) thinking about how it would be for our best to start letting go. More for his best because now, he's the one loving more. Or actually, he's the only one loving the same way of before.
So I tell him, "You should start letting go of me now. Because I don't know if and when I'll be coming around to bring back the love. I really have no idea".
Do I miss him? yes.
Do I miss us? Yes.
So what's the problem? I don't miss him enough to have to want to spend the rest of my life with him. Like before. Or at least, I still don't know if that's what I want.
So I can't do anything about it.
He's not the only one coping. And I feel the adjustments will linger longer for me than for him. Now he just has to start coping with the loss of my love.
As for me, from coping with how to not be guilty about my inability to return the love. As he starts to cope and let go of me, while I may think that I've already let go, the actual feeling and knowledge that he has let go of me, may very well be another emotional hurdle for me.
I don't know, however, if the pain, sadness or loss that I will feel when that happens will only be a result of vanity or sentimentality. But I think, while I do not feel the loneliness now, the kind of loneliness he feels. I might feel it once I see and feel that he's totally moved on from me. Because, while my feelings have changed for him, I don't have someone to catch me from all this. None at this moment.
It may seem harder for him to deal with things now, but I have a nagging feeling it might be harder for me in the longer run... unless I can catch myself or someone's there to catch me.
My prayer now is this. If the time comes that my feelings don't return, that we indeed definitely go our separate ways, live our separate lives and he's moved on from me, it won't be too hard for me and someone will be there to catch me if i can't catch myself...
So I tell him, "You should start letting go of me now. Because I don't know if and when I'll be coming around to bring back the love. I really have no idea".
Do I miss him? yes.
Do I miss us? Yes.
So what's the problem? I don't miss him enough to have to want to spend the rest of my life with him. Like before. Or at least, I still don't know if that's what I want.
So I can't do anything about it.
He's not the only one coping. And I feel the adjustments will linger longer for me than for him. Now he just has to start coping with the loss of my love.
As for me, from coping with how to not be guilty about my inability to return the love. As he starts to cope and let go of me, while I may think that I've already let go, the actual feeling and knowledge that he has let go of me, may very well be another emotional hurdle for me.
I don't know, however, if the pain, sadness or loss that I will feel when that happens will only be a result of vanity or sentimentality. But I think, while I do not feel the loneliness now, the kind of loneliness he feels. I might feel it once I see and feel that he's totally moved on from me. Because, while my feelings have changed for him, I don't have someone to catch me from all this. None at this moment.
It may seem harder for him to deal with things now, but I have a nagging feeling it might be harder for me in the longer run... unless I can catch myself or someone's there to catch me.
My prayer now is this. If the time comes that my feelings don't return, that we indeed definitely go our separate ways, live our separate lives and he's moved on from me, it won't be too hard for me and someone will be there to catch me if i can't catch myself...
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
UNWAVERING HOPE
Unwavering obedience for God's plan in our life,
no matter how hard, painful and uncomfortable at first.
If we focus our eyes to the One Who called us.
He will surely lead us through and through.
-Proverbs 4:25
Monday, October 31, 2011
LIMBO
"I know that I will live to see the Lord's goodness in the present life. Trust in the Lord. Have Faith. Do not despair. Trust in the Lord"
- Psalm 24: 13-14
- Psalm 24: 13-14
This verse is probably the perfect answer to my title, which is where I feel i am now, in limbo, emotional limbo, if there is such a thing.
Neither here nor there. But I know deep inside I know where I am, but I just can't bring my self to 'cross-over' to the other side. To venture back into the unknown. The hesitation, though is not because of the fear or uncertainty with the unknown that's in store for me, but because of the difficulty to let go of what I'll be leaving behind knowing the pain that it will cause.
I am currently confused. About why this had to happen and about what to do. I don't know if at this point I just choose to be confused because knowing the real answer /explanation to this situation is just such a bitter pill to swallow.
I now constantly pray for clarity and strength. That by the time I reach the clarity that I need, that I'd immediately have the strength and courage to act on it, no matter how painful & uncertain the outcome. Because all I need to do is put my full trust in Him. Do I fully trust Him? I know I do, for myself I do. But for the one who will feel the most pain, I need to trust Him to, that He will give comfort when I can't. That He will give us both peace.
I ask that I don't know why this is happening, but maybe at the very back of my mind, a very small part of me knows why, or has known why. It's just a matter of accepting it and moving on. I know though, I can can never leave, that I can never forget. Because it will always be special to me. I will always care. I will always love, maybe not in the same way, but I will.
I pray for peace. I pray for clarity. I pray for strength. I pray for courage. I pray for emotional stability. I pray for all to work out for God's purpose and greater glory.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
07 07 10
Today’s Psalm.
PSALM 121:1-8
I lift my eyes up to the hills—Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, The Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip— He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore.
Things seem to have gone full circle. When I was down right after I learned of the disappointing news on what I was about to experience, I asked for the Lord for His message of comfort and guidance. I opened the Bible to a random page and pointed to a random verse and saw these verses of the Psalm.
These lines indeed gave me comfort and affirmation that things will be okay. And I also have my family and my wonderful friends who were there for me and showed me their utmost concern and love for me. I thank the Lord or these angels whom He's sent me.
Today, this is the responsorial Psalm for today’s readings. Today, when just last Friday, I’ve been already offered a position at another company. The Lord is providing for me and taking care of me. He indeed takes care of all of us.
May God be praised!
image taken from this site: http://klaudiamarrgallery.com/Invitational_Exhibits/2009_-_Evenly_Scattered/more2.html
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
No Need To Rush
Had a nice, interesting talk with Ms. Gigi today. Though I'm hoping for a world of possibilities opening up for me stemming for out talk over lunch, that thought will be for another post - which I hope I'll have the change of writing about somehow.
This post is more on something she said, which struck me just a while ago. 'Don't get pressured' she said. What was she referring to? Marriage.
It gave me an idea, a thought. Something to think about and discuss with JB. She was talking about how the age of 30 opens up so many new things for a person. Specially one with a pretty active & social adult life. Though I think I've got a pretty average social life.
Anyways, talk of our plans for marriage late next year came up. And what she tells me is not to be pressured, there's no need to rush. That I'm still young, only 30. Imagine that. Come to think of it. Hers isn't the usual reaction I'd usually get when I share about wedding plans looming in the air. Others would usually say something like 'Good for you' or 'It's about time'.
Though I do want to get married, I've actually been feeling that it's not something I exactly want to rush or can't wait to jump into. I'm actually feeling not feeling the pressure or urgency of having to have to get married by end of next year. Though I'm a bit concerned, I'm not panicking that we still don't have savings in preparation for the wedding & married life.
I think deep inside. I'm not in a rush.
Why are women usually in such a rush to get married? It's to be able to have babies. To be honest, with all the things I've seen other women go through with regard to pregnancies, I think I've tried not to be too anxious about wanting to have a child of my own. I'm quite open to the possibility that we might not have any kids, since I've reached the age of 30 and still haven't borne a child. They say it's harder to get pregnant if you haven't given birth at least once before you're 30.
I realized that there's still so much I could do or maybe with the possibility of marriage in the near future, the thought of the new responsibilities that goes along with marriage, being a wife - or eventually a mother - makes me a bit nervous. Maybe the first step of being a wife is something I can handle, but being a mother is a totally different thing.
I've never wanted to be a doctor because I never wanted to be in the position where someone's life is somehow, in my hands. Now thinking about motherhood, well, isn't that the same thing? The life of your child's hands is in your hands.
I'm not saying I don't want to be a mother. I'm sure when the time comes, I'd know what to do. That's nature's way of taking care of things & that's how the Lord designed us anyways.
But I guess, at this point, the thing is, I don't need to rush. As I said, we still don't have enough savings anyways. And JB's still quite young and there's still a lot of things he wants and could do. We can still enjoy single life and life with our families together.
So, what am I saying? Am I saying it's okay to delay the the marriage a bit more? ..... Not really, it's more of just maintaing the state of mind that there's no need to rush. No need to feel pressured. Things will fall into place anyway eventually.
The thing is I've found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to plan on how we'll be doing just that.
Goodness, I think I just experienced some kind of hypnotic lapse. For a splitsecond, before writing this piece, I think I actually entertained, being okay with waiting for 4 more years before getting married. So that we can still experience other things and save more. Now that I think about it, not that I'm in a rush really, but I think it would still be good if we are able to save up & have enough money to push through with our wedding end of next year ;)
What was i thinking?....
This post is more on something she said, which struck me just a while ago. 'Don't get pressured' she said. What was she referring to? Marriage.
It gave me an idea, a thought. Something to think about and discuss with JB. She was talking about how the age of 30 opens up so many new things for a person. Specially one with a pretty active & social adult life. Though I think I've got a pretty average social life.
Anyways, talk of our plans for marriage late next year came up. And what she tells me is not to be pressured, there's no need to rush. That I'm still young, only 30. Imagine that. Come to think of it. Hers isn't the usual reaction I'd usually get when I share about wedding plans looming in the air. Others would usually say something like 'Good for you' or 'It's about time'.
Though I do want to get married, I've actually been feeling that it's not something I exactly want to rush or can't wait to jump into. I'm actually feeling not feeling the pressure or urgency of having to have to get married by end of next year. Though I'm a bit concerned, I'm not panicking that we still don't have savings in preparation for the wedding & married life.
I think deep inside. I'm not in a rush.
Why are women usually in such a rush to get married? It's to be able to have babies. To be honest, with all the things I've seen other women go through with regard to pregnancies, I think I've tried not to be too anxious about wanting to have a child of my own. I'm quite open to the possibility that we might not have any kids, since I've reached the age of 30 and still haven't borne a child. They say it's harder to get pregnant if you haven't given birth at least once before you're 30.
I realized that there's still so much I could do or maybe with the possibility of marriage in the near future, the thought of the new responsibilities that goes along with marriage, being a wife - or eventually a mother - makes me a bit nervous. Maybe the first step of being a wife is something I can handle, but being a mother is a totally different thing.
I've never wanted to be a doctor because I never wanted to be in the position where someone's life is somehow, in my hands. Now thinking about motherhood, well, isn't that the same thing? The life of your child's hands is in your hands.
I'm not saying I don't want to be a mother. I'm sure when the time comes, I'd know what to do. That's nature's way of taking care of things & that's how the Lord designed us anyways.
But I guess, at this point, the thing is, I don't need to rush. As I said, we still don't have enough savings anyways. And JB's still quite young and there's still a lot of things he wants and could do. We can still enjoy single life and life with our families together.
So, what am I saying? Am I saying it's okay to delay the the marriage a bit more? ..... Not really, it's more of just maintaing the state of mind that there's no need to rush. No need to feel pressured. Things will fall into place anyway eventually.
The thing is I've found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to plan on how we'll be doing just that.
Goodness, I think I just experienced some kind of hypnotic lapse. For a splitsecond, before writing this piece, I think I actually entertained, being okay with waiting for 4 more years before getting married. So that we can still experience other things and save more. Now that I think about it, not that I'm in a rush really, but I think it would still be good if we are able to save up & have enough money to push through with our wedding end of next year ;)
What was i thinking?....
Monday, February 02, 2009
Passion of Mine
When will I finish this if not now? Why can’t I think straight? Why can’t I think clearly? No, it’s not that I can’t think straight or clearly, but more of not being able to think about work; about getting down to work.
Is it because I don’t like repeating something I’ve already done? Or I don’t like working on something I’m not sure of. It may be the case. There’s nothing more frustrating than working so hard on something, only knowing in the end – or near the end- that you’ve been moving in the wrong direction all this time.
I think that’s what’s been holding me back – most of the time. I’m not too confident about my decisions and choices. Not confident enough to move forward with things and really make the difference that I have to make – even those that I HAVE to make!!! Imagine that.
Sometimes, I really just wonder how I’ve come this far. To that I only give praise & thanks to the Lord for I am truly blessed. I am a testament of His goodness working in my life. Regardless of my capabilities – or incapability for that matter.
Or maybe it’s because I’m just really weak. Weak to fight or face the challenges ahead of me. But then, didn’t I look forward to these challenges? To these changes? Don’t I always advocate how life would be such a joy & an adventure to have unexpected surprises along the way that one could look forward to. Surprises that include the challenges, the challenges that are supposed to strengthen you and change you into the person you should become. Into the person you want to become. Tough you might not even know it yet.
I hope this ranting will bring out something of use for me. I hope this will get me started. I need something more than focus & concentration to be able to do what I need to do. I need a motivation, an inspiration…. the passion. Where art thou passion of mine?
Is it because I don’t like repeating something I’ve already done? Or I don’t like working on something I’m not sure of. It may be the case. There’s nothing more frustrating than working so hard on something, only knowing in the end – or near the end- that you’ve been moving in the wrong direction all this time.
I think that’s what’s been holding me back – most of the time. I’m not too confident about my decisions and choices. Not confident enough to move forward with things and really make the difference that I have to make – even those that I HAVE to make!!! Imagine that.
Sometimes, I really just wonder how I’ve come this far. To that I only give praise & thanks to the Lord for I am truly blessed. I am a testament of His goodness working in my life. Regardless of my capabilities – or incapability for that matter.
Or maybe it’s because I’m just really weak. Weak to fight or face the challenges ahead of me. But then, didn’t I look forward to these challenges? To these changes? Don’t I always advocate how life would be such a joy & an adventure to have unexpected surprises along the way that one could look forward to. Surprises that include the challenges, the challenges that are supposed to strengthen you and change you into the person you should become. Into the person you want to become. Tough you might not even know it yet.
I hope this ranting will bring out something of use for me. I hope this will get me started. I need something more than focus & concentration to be able to do what I need to do. I need a motivation, an inspiration…. the passion. Where art thou passion of mine?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hold On
This is a nice, inspiring quote which I stumbled upon which I want (and maybe even need) to go back to every now and then.
Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands alone.
Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands alone.
Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.
–Pueblo Verse
The Smiley
This is somewhat connected to the post on text language some posts back. I just realized, as I was responding to an office email a while ago, what effect texting has on my other means of correspondence.
I noticed, how even as I write emails, it has been a habit to include smileys - variations of it even [ :) or =) ] - as I type. And I realize how I seem to have been using smileys to the point of making it into a punctuation mark of sorts. Not only that, but I actually cringe at the thought at having to erase some of them - or Egad! all of them! - because it takes out the smiley emotion I put in writing the missive.
Interesting how such habits just creep in to other facets of your life... or maybe it's just me.
I noticed, how even as I write emails, it has been a habit to include smileys - variations of it even [ :) or =) ] - as I type. And I realize how I seem to have been using smileys to the point of making it into a punctuation mark of sorts. Not only that, but I actually cringe at the thought at having to erase some of them - or Egad! all of them! - because it takes out the smiley emotion I put in writing the missive.
Interesting how such habits just creep in to other facets of your life... or maybe it's just me.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Careers
Some are just jobs, others are actually a lifestyle. Mine seems to have to be a lifestyle.
Sadly, I realize, I’m not sure if it is the lifestyle that fits me. I just have a little dilemma in finding that it seems I’ve been led to this kind of lifestyle which I thought I wanted but now am not sure if is something I’m meant for…. Now isn’t that strange? or disturbing?.... :o
Sadly, I realize, I’m not sure if it is the lifestyle that fits me. I just have a little dilemma in finding that it seems I’ve been led to this kind of lifestyle which I thought I wanted but now am not sure if is something I’m meant for…. Now isn’t that strange? or disturbing?.... :o
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Toni's Postsecret
This is from my former officemate who recently transferred to a different company. It's a good move for her & I'm happy for her.
What I'm happier about is this message she gave me just before she left. It's called a postsecret only because this officemate of mine, Toni, is the one who would supply almost the entire office with weekly updates on postsecret.blogspot.com.
It's a message I cherish, which is why I'm reposting this on my site -- and I so love the pics she used... here it is:
Dear Mitzi,
Well, it's not exactly a secret. This is more a "thank-you and see you around" note. Because I'm more comfortable writing things than I am saying them, this is a note for you, of things I want to share with you but never have. So I guess it's our little secret in a way.
I'm very proud of how you've grown as a planner. I enjoy hearing you take charge of Nokia and Kraft. When the BAT and Accounts people come up to your desk and ask you questions, seek clarification, and you give them the answers, I smile. It feels like you're watching your little sister grow up. Something like that. I'm proud of you. Keep growing.
Thank you for putting up with my mood swings.
When you make kwento about yourself and JB, natutuwa ako. I'm reminded of fresh, new love. I'm thankful for that because I still see that kind of love in my relationship with Dennis. So keep that fresh love going. Keep on surprising each other. :)
You have potential Mitzi. I wish you would be given the opportunity to attend seminars and trainings, because I know that with those tools and experiences, you will grow even more. You've got sass that comes out once in awhile, that I know should come out even more. Continue to be strong. You're super bait and I hope that kindness is not abused by any co-worker. Stand your ground, always. You're a strong woman.
You know that I'll be here till May 15th but I thought I'd get the sentimental stuff out of the way. Haha. I don't think I can handle a surge of emotions next week. I'm looking forward to our lunch date tomorrow. Thanks for the kindness and the love little sister. I will miss you.
All the best,
Toni
What I'm happier about is this message she gave me just before she left. It's called a postsecret only because this officemate of mine, Toni, is the one who would supply almost the entire office with weekly updates on postsecret.blogspot.com.
It's a message I cherish, which is why I'm reposting this on my site -- and I so love the pics she used... here it is:
Dear Mitzi,
Well, it's not exactly a secret. This is more a "thank-you and see you around" note. Because I'm more comfortable writing things than I am saying them, this is a note for you, of things I want to share with you but never have. So I guess it's our little secret in a way.
I'm very proud of how you've grown as a planner. I enjoy hearing you take charge of Nokia and Kraft. When the BAT and Accounts people come up to your desk and ask you questions, seek clarification, and you give them the answers, I smile. It feels like you're watching your little sister grow up. Something like that. I'm proud of you. Keep growing.
I also admire that when you seek clarification yourself, you don't hesitate to ask. That's one of the most important ways to grow -- to acknowledge that we don't know everything, and then learn from those who may know, and are willing to help.
I admire how spiritual you are. I have my own kind of relationship with God, and when I see you or hear your stories, I am reminded of how to become even closer to Him. Thank you for being that quiet mentor. You teach by example, perhaps without your knowing. Thank you for the spiritual and heartwarming e-mails that help remind me of putting some focus back on my faith.
I wish I had your height. Hahaha!
Thank you for putting up with my mood swings.
When you make kwento about yourself and JB, natutuwa ako. I'm reminded of fresh, new love. I'm thankful for that because I still see that kind of love in my relationship with Dennis. So keep that fresh love going. Keep on surprising each other. :)
You have potential Mitzi. I wish you would be given the opportunity to attend seminars and trainings, because I know that with those tools and experiences, you will grow even more. You've got sass that comes out once in awhile, that I know should come out even more. Continue to be strong. You're super bait and I hope that kindness is not abused by any co-worker. Stand your ground, always. You're a strong woman.
You know that I'll be here till May 15th but I thought I'd get the sentimental stuff out of the way. Haha. I don't think I can handle a surge of emotions next week. I'm looking forward to our lunch date tomorrow. Thanks for the kindness and the love little sister. I will miss you.
All the best,
Toni
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
My Gift for Gel on His 25th!
Hope this finally gets posted as I've been having so much trouble uploading it :)
This was my gift to JB on his 25th bday. Mejo nagkaroon ng glitches because he wasn't able to see it on the day itself because for some reason we couldn't find it and play it from their dvd player.
Actually, I should say that this is a labor of love. I thought it would only take me a couple of hours to put this video together. It ended up being a whole day... well maybe a whole half of a day, meaning from after lunch til midnight.
I learned (again) however, the importance of having someone check your work before 'submitting' it! Because when i was showing it to my sister she noticed something wrong in one of the texts I incuded. And the mistake I made was on OUR ANNIVERSARY DATE!!! nyah! Buti nalang alam niya date ng anniv namin ni JB. Coz what was written was a glaringly big date that's a DAY AHEAD! hahaha.... I have an excuse for that. I was reminiscing how I 'answered' JB in the wee morning of July 28th over the phone -- yup, just over the phone and, okay, so i blurted out my 'i love u' without being asked anymore.heheh. just had to say it he needn't ask no more.hehe). So there written on one of the slides is the date 27 July 2006... what a mistake that is right? hahaha...
So I had to redo that slide, in the process of which i saw more typos and fixed those slides too. And burn it again in the CD. Good thing the one i got was a rewritable one. So i just had to delete the old video and burn it again in the CD which also included a lot song tracks which i knew he wanted to have so he'll have something to listen to at the office.
Those revisions I did on the day I'll be meeting him (on his bday), coz i only finished it the first time just the night before. Actually, as i remember it now, it was already wrapped when my sister discovered the typo when I was showing her the copy of the video... Haha, so i not only had to revise and reburn, I also re-wrapped... heheh
But it was all worth it. Though it was delayed and all... the moment he was able to see the video in the midst of the songs, like a gem in the middle of a field, he texted me with a gazzillion smileys and told me how he loved what i made for him and was at that moment, teary-eyed... it was all worth it... for my Gel...
Now i hope this video posts well...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The Evolution of Text Language
My goodness how filipinos are such linguists!Young people have been able to make another language all on their own, yet again. (well, they seem to have done so since SMS has become the norm.) But now, it's not just about coming up with just one or two colloquial terms.... it's an entirely new language!
See if you can read what's written below. Saw this posted in the site of another clueless individual. Try decoding it and I think you'll find some foul language also inserted within the text.
This is not just your good ol' horse or 'tigidy' language (if any of you is aware of that), but this seems to be pretty mainstream text language to a chunk of our young ones as mobile/online text language.
Decoding it, one finds the filipino youth's penchant for creativity, personalization and breaking norms for the sake of the first two ideals, even in the simple act of writing text.
Maybe a screaming copy written this way will get the attention of the young jologs market (which is big i believe), or maybe an english version of such language could also be of use to get their attention yet won't be too damaging to brand image.
Or maybe there's still more to this that we should try to understand... but then again, maybe there's none.
Just a thought. =)
A comment:
DUPF !! DLAPF LANG ZSA FS MUH !!ADD MUH NMEN AQKU !!QKUNG KK LNG ZSAYU !!************@yahoo.com !!TNX IN ADVANCE !!PHOTO COMMENT NADIN !! =PS L O P E ' W U NN U AZ S I N G L E
The About Me:
,._/~juLiE'aNn izx MA'H NEYM",
._/~aLzo knOwn aZ thuG'LAtinA,
._/~bOuncE'OnE iZh juZt oNe oF mHa fLakaZ,
._/~PANG BALANDRA NG TROPA,._/~mAvaEt zah maVaeT,
._/~pRo fuKinG iiNang haTtaZ tAng iiNA NYO,
._/~tiKaz dAw nG mGa boiLetZ cU',._/~ di nMan aCu baZta baZta LnG,
._/~uNg tiPonG mAy bHaby bOi LnG kaHit mUkhAng hOmeboi,
._/~iniZ atOh mGa taunG insEcure,
._/~uNg tiPong nag-aAngaZ sEo,
._/~piLit tumAtapak fAra makAangAt zAkin,
._/~aZaNESz KEO..kinG-inAng NyAn,
._/~kLa mUh naMan mApaPataOb mUh cU,
._/~mAz siKat fA cu' inAkaLa mUh,
._/~dEym fuCk oL mAh haTtaz,
._/~RUMEsZPETO KnA LANG SA MAS NAKAKaTaAs SEo,
._/~nDi mOw ckOw kyAnG fAbvAgzAkiEn!!,
._/~dEym!!
The Shoutout:"` .::. thug'latiina .::. ` GiMME'BREAK .. SASABiiT KDAW XAH FLACKA NAMiiN NENE , ? WACC KANG MAG.BALACC GAGEW ;))=)) .. KAKUTUS.KUTUS KLNG DEFUTAH ;))=)) ..POK.POK PAKAN.TOT YAN TWAG SEYO!! POSERA ULOL!!KAREZPEREZPETO KA , ? XAN BANDA , ?"
Help me read dis:
HmMm MbUtiiE aMaN nAqCk CkAw SzThA nHaMbUtii AmAn CkMiiE sGe..DiiE cKoUh PpAyAaN dHiiEnIIo AiGhT..sEe YhA mHuWaH...wHappakk!!!NgEcKxZwAb YhOu NaQcK cKoUh AiiGhT...mHuWaH...CkLaPmHe EsSe BhAcK aiiGhT nAqCk CkOuH bOuNcE oUtMhiiE hEa..[[CkUiiEnCiiE'gHeTtHo'ChiiQC iSz MiSz SZCaNnEr IsZ 1SZt]] AiGhT mHuWaH...
Sa chat uso yung mga anak nanay tatay.. tulad nito. nainlab sa anak KUNO:
22o amn naqk ee im falling foe you poe tlga pRamiSzE .. 22o uNg sZnAsBi kOe szEu ..
Best Line ever:
--+PFEDE PFOE VBANG MAQCK PFAH ADOPFT ..?
--+ENKSZ PFOE ..
--+VBOUNCE VBACK NUA LAHN PFOE CKAU SZAH PFAGE Q ..
--+PKI ADD NUA LAHN PFOE AQ CKXE NDIIE PFOE QTAH MAADD EH ..
--+GUE TILL IRR NUA LAHN ..
--+TEECEE OLWEISZ ..
The Boyfriend's testimonial of his love to his girlfriend:
"-tHuG_ziGn-"
ft
"-tHuG_ziGn-"
*Ei sTilL awake sa latina k0o*
*pAdAan lng p0o sa fAgE ng latina k0o*
*dhil mhAl k0o sya WeH bkit fAlak kAu*
*ahm latina k0o wish k0o lng p0o*
*2ng pasko sana kaw na ung prinsezsa na*
*hinahanap k0o un lng hiling k0o**at tc ka fawage latina k0o kaz*
*ak0o nagw02ry pag may pr0b ka weh*
*kya tibayin lng natin dlwa ok*
*l0by0u latina k0o:*:
*-""-ingatz ka fawage wak pabayaan xelF*
"-tHuG_ziGn-"
ft
"-tHuG_latina-"
GHETTO RULZ BEBE! LOL!
From: http://necrophillia.multiply.com/journal/item/336/What_lingo_is_this
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sometimes...
Sometimes, when I'm going through something,
I just think about you...
I think of you and yearn to be able to talk to you...
But most of the time,
I can't seem to get a hold of you
(hopefully, it's only temporary).
And i do wonder...
If you are indeed someone I can talk to...
I hope so..
Because I hope to spend the rest of my life with you ....
I just think about you...
I think of you and yearn to be able to talk to you...
But most of the time,
I can't seem to get a hold of you
(hopefully, it's only temporary).
And i do wonder...
If you are indeed someone I can talk to...
I hope so..
Because I hope to spend the rest of my life with you ....
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Officially Missing You
I thought I'm over it. The super strong feeling of missing someone. Once I thought that i could handle the scarce communication and moments of being together. It's a different thing altogether once you do get to see each other but don't really get to 'be' together.
So near yet so far. I realized I could handle those extended days we can't get to be together or can't really get to talk much, but only if those days are sufficiently filled in between with true quality time together.
This is just to say that I so miss his company. Meaning his company with his attention solely focused on ME!... that is so scarce now... I miss our simple, happy banter. Joking and kidding around. The mushy, cheezy and corny exchanges and well, just really spending time with each other.
I'm tired of sneaking a few minutes or a couple of hours at the end of the day to 'catch up' on stuff or to have a few moments together. I don't know if other people can get what I'm driving at.
I love it that we're there for each other for ordinary days. Or that we're there for each other even if we're not together. That we make plans for stuff. Or that we include other people in our plans. But I think we should have moments when it's not just about talking about everyday stuff or talking about plans, but really having time to spend to just enjoy each other's company.
A trip somewhere or find a nice and cozy hang out. So we can really talk. While we do grow and get to know each other better by being together and seeing each other move in our real life spaces. We can't discount the fact that we also still continue to get to know each other when we get to talk, chat and know what the other thinks about or how the other thinks about things.
Yun lang, I guess, that's just what I'm missing. Because it's been a long time since we've had real quality time where we can just have each other to ourselves. I just really miss that, and that's what I'm longing for now....
Konting tiis nalang...hehehe :)
So near yet so far. I realized I could handle those extended days we can't get to be together or can't really get to talk much, but only if those days are sufficiently filled in between with true quality time together.
This is just to say that I so miss his company. Meaning his company with his attention solely focused on ME!... that is so scarce now... I miss our simple, happy banter. Joking and kidding around. The mushy, cheezy and corny exchanges and well, just really spending time with each other.
I'm tired of sneaking a few minutes or a couple of hours at the end of the day to 'catch up' on stuff or to have a few moments together. I don't know if other people can get what I'm driving at.
I love it that we're there for each other for ordinary days. Or that we're there for each other even if we're not together. That we make plans for stuff. Or that we include other people in our plans. But I think we should have moments when it's not just about talking about everyday stuff or talking about plans, but really having time to spend to just enjoy each other's company.
A trip somewhere or find a nice and cozy hang out. So we can really talk. While we do grow and get to know each other better by being together and seeing each other move in our real life spaces. We can't discount the fact that we also still continue to get to know each other when we get to talk, chat and know what the other thinks about or how the other thinks about things.
Yun lang, I guess, that's just what I'm missing. Because it's been a long time since we've had real quality time where we can just have each other to ourselves. I just really miss that, and that's what I'm longing for now....
Konting tiis nalang...hehehe :)
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
From Frustration to Self-Psyco-Analysis
I don’t know why I can’t work easily. I don’t know why I don’t feel that I need to prove myself to anyone. I don’t know where to get my motivation. Why am I so moody?
I’m blessed to have things relatively easy for me. I acknowledge that an I am thankful for it. Though I have my share of struggles and pains, I still feel as if I am a weakling. Maybe not really a weakling, but that I still haven’t grown as I should.
I don’t know why I feel this way. Maybe it’s because the world I choose to live in is a small one. Though it’s natural to me to reach out and help people in need, it is not natural for me to just reach out for the sake of expanding my network, expanding my territory.
I guess that’s just how I’m wired. With the limitations and scarcity that I’ve encountered in my life, I have learned to accept the things that I have, to live with it and make the most out of them. It’s quite unfortunate, I think, however that such experiences hasn’t pushed me enough to expand what little I have; to make it grow, to multiply into abundance. That is something I expect to come at the opportune time.
I think I’ve shared this with a friend before. Literally, I am an impatient person. I get impatient while falling in line or while waiting for someone I have an appointment with once they’re a tad bit too late. However, in life, I think I’ve been patient enough to wait for the things that are to come my way. In terms of friendships, opportunities for jobs, exciting activities, opportunities for travel even love. I think I’ve been able to wait patiently for the things that were meant for me, for the things that I would like to experience. Of course, it’s not completely passive waiting that I did. I made sure that my activities and behavior were directed to one day achieving or experiencing things which I desired for my life. Fortunately, they have arrived. In spite of setbacks, I think I’ve been able to experience a lot of exciting things in life and those things seem to have come at the opportune time for me.
Now, why was I led to talk about that? I don’t know. I just started writing this, again, out of frustration with not knowing what to write for something that has something to do with work. Oh, I remember. That actually led me to think again if this is where I want to be; If this is what I want to do; If this is where I’ll be able to use my talents and treasures to its highest potential. Sometimes I love it, sometimes, I’m just not inspired. That’s just downright frustrating. Especially, if I’ve been enlightened to offer my work to the Lord, to offer my work as my prayer. It’s difficult as it is to set my prayer time because it’s hard to fit it into daily schedules, plus of course the distractions once I do get that time alone. Now it’s even more difficult to offer up my work when I know my work is also full of distractions or is lacking inspiration.
As I get to know myself a bit more, it seems I’m proving how my theory on my entry on my difficulty with creating abstract art is really a reflection of how I am. I cannot move pointlessly, directionless, or plan-less. I can’t walk to any direction if I can’t visualize any end goal or result to the direction I am taking. Same way, I can’t work given too much freedom to not have a concrete deliverable each time. It sounds really boring but I guess that’s how I am. This is also probably why I’m one who has no problem with following rules or guidelines. Unless of course, it already steps on the emotional realm. But then, that’s another story… My mind trail has stopped. I shall cut this entry short lest I trail too far off. I think that has been my mind burp. Can’t say my mind was full of stuff, maybe it was full of air, which is why I needed to burp. Hopefully after this, I’ll be able to write the missive that I’m supposed to be composing… Ciao!
I’m blessed to have things relatively easy for me. I acknowledge that an I am thankful for it. Though I have my share of struggles and pains, I still feel as if I am a weakling. Maybe not really a weakling, but that I still haven’t grown as I should.
I don’t know why I feel this way. Maybe it’s because the world I choose to live in is a small one. Though it’s natural to me to reach out and help people in need, it is not natural for me to just reach out for the sake of expanding my network, expanding my territory.
I guess that’s just how I’m wired. With the limitations and scarcity that I’ve encountered in my life, I have learned to accept the things that I have, to live with it and make the most out of them. It’s quite unfortunate, I think, however that such experiences hasn’t pushed me enough to expand what little I have; to make it grow, to multiply into abundance. That is something I expect to come at the opportune time.
I think I’ve shared this with a friend before. Literally, I am an impatient person. I get impatient while falling in line or while waiting for someone I have an appointment with once they’re a tad bit too late. However, in life, I think I’ve been patient enough to wait for the things that are to come my way. In terms of friendships, opportunities for jobs, exciting activities, opportunities for travel even love. I think I’ve been able to wait patiently for the things that were meant for me, for the things that I would like to experience. Of course, it’s not completely passive waiting that I did. I made sure that my activities and behavior were directed to one day achieving or experiencing things which I desired for my life. Fortunately, they have arrived. In spite of setbacks, I think I’ve been able to experience a lot of exciting things in life and those things seem to have come at the opportune time for me.
Now, why was I led to talk about that? I don’t know. I just started writing this, again, out of frustration with not knowing what to write for something that has something to do with work. Oh, I remember. That actually led me to think again if this is where I want to be; If this is what I want to do; If this is where I’ll be able to use my talents and treasures to its highest potential. Sometimes I love it, sometimes, I’m just not inspired. That’s just downright frustrating. Especially, if I’ve been enlightened to offer my work to the Lord, to offer my work as my prayer. It’s difficult as it is to set my prayer time because it’s hard to fit it into daily schedules, plus of course the distractions once I do get that time alone. Now it’s even more difficult to offer up my work when I know my work is also full of distractions or is lacking inspiration.
As I get to know myself a bit more, it seems I’m proving how my theory on my entry on my difficulty with creating abstract art is really a reflection of how I am. I cannot move pointlessly, directionless, or plan-less. I can’t walk to any direction if I can’t visualize any end goal or result to the direction I am taking. Same way, I can’t work given too much freedom to not have a concrete deliverable each time. It sounds really boring but I guess that’s how I am. This is also probably why I’m one who has no problem with following rules or guidelines. Unless of course, it already steps on the emotional realm. But then, that’s another story… My mind trail has stopped. I shall cut this entry short lest I trail too far off. I think that has been my mind burp. Can’t say my mind was full of stuff, maybe it was full of air, which is why I needed to burp. Hopefully after this, I’ll be able to write the missive that I’m supposed to be composing… Ciao!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
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